I Feel Like Hell!
I Feel like Hell
I am going to tell you a story. Not out of spite, or hatred. Even though I feel angry, and very disappointed. I am writing this because I like to write, it helps me.
As you may or may not know, I went through difficult times after the War.
My entire life I promised myself I would be there for Mom when her time came. She was living here in Melbourne.
I was married, had a new baby, and lived in a house I had bought in Virginia.
My scoliotic nerve went out and I was couch ridden for months. I lost my job, and decided I had to make a change right then, because if I did not change then, I would get a job and never leave Virginia.
I couldn't sell the house in Virginia because it was right during the housing crisis. I tried renting it out, but eventually had to walk away from it.
Practically the day we relocated to Florida, , my Grandmother fell, and broke her hip,. She required 24 hours a day care. Her mind was also getting bad.
My Wife and I, along with my Son, stayed with my Grandmother the last 5 years of her life. It was very difficult but we kept her at home, instead of some nursing home. This also kept Grandmas money in tact. My Mom, her sister, and her brother each inherited a pretty penny. My Mom had bought a house, and redid absolutely everything on the house.
We moved close to my Mom, and got Hunter into Pineapple School.
My credit was shot. But I still had my VA loan available to me. So two years ago I began rebuilding my credit. When I was a soldier, I spent an entire deployment teaching myself about credit. My second deployment I taught my soldiers what I had learned about credit.
Two years ago I quit feeling sorry for myself and began rebuilding my credit. I also talked with a VA counselor, and verified everything. I even got my new COE letter from the VA. I also spoke with a lawyer, and my banker. I just wanted to be prepared when the time came.
And boy did it come. My Mom, just a few weeks ago, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The house was the last thing on my mind. But I was prepared. And I had told my Mom that I was prepared, but she did not listen to me.
My Sister has had absolutely NOTHING to do with me for years. I tried to talk about the coming eventuality with her before, and she was having non of it.
Buying the house was not even on my mind. My Wife and I are preparing to do the best we can do for my Mom.
But then, out of the blue, my Sister starts contacting me, and she is all about the house, and what is going to happen with the house. She knows I want it, but it is really upsetting her.
As it turns out, neither my Sister, nor my Mother, listened to one word I had to say. In their mind there was no way I could afford the house, especially the down payment.
Then I reminded them, I have no down payment with the VA Home Loan.
They still weren't having it.
I have a nice income now. So does my Wife. We live in a nice Condo. I pay the rent the day before it is due! I have my rent payments documented, and on my credit the last two years!
But in my Moms and Sisters mind, there is no way I can afford the house! Because of the down payment. But with the VA loan, there is no down payment.
My Sister, as it turns out, is having terrible financial troubles. And she is convinced that as soon as my Mom dies, I would move right on in that house, squat, and delay getting her money to her!
I swear to God, I never ever would do that! I am 100 percent prepared!
Then my Mom gets her realtor, and tries to tell me from the second she dies, I have 30 days to buy the house and that is it!
I was furious. If I could buy the house in two weeks I would. But after she dies I would be upset. We have to clean out everything.
Then I spoke with my lawyer, and that 30 days is a bunch of BS!
So I told my Mom I wanted to speak with her realtor, and just try to find out where this 30 days BS is coming from.
Think about this. If I bought the house the realtor would get no commission! So for all I know he is against me also.
I never lived up to what my Mom wanted me to be. And maybe I am a terrible Brother. But I swear to God I had nothing but the best intentions when it came to everything! And now I feel so upset. I still have issues. I do not even want to ever talk to either of them ever again! I know it is wrong, it is just how I feel. And feeling like that makes me sick.
I want nothing to do with that house any more. I hope I can just forget about it. Right now I am not sure I can. After everything I have been through my self esteem is not the greatest. I wanted her to see what I had done, and be proud of me. Not this.
This is how I feel
