Blog 10 The tide slowly turns

And turn it will. The TIDE is very calm now, and I can manipulate it to do anything I want it to. I have been here before, but it was a long long time ago.

I never thought I would make it back up the river again. I have been through a terrible time. When those closest to you, have absolutely no belief, in what you are trying to accomplish. I think about how much easier it could have been. Just a hint of belief. Just a couple motivating words. I needed those around me to believe. I needed them to listen to my plan. But all I received was pure negativity.

I can imagine how they must feel, though. They did not know me when I was on top of the hill. They only knew me as I was falling down. They watched me hit rock bottom. I was in that terrible place for a long time. It was mostly in my head, though. They made sure I stayed on the bottom.

I don’t remember the day, or the time. I know it was a little over two years ago. I had to make a desision. I had to do it for me, but mostly for my son. He was 9 years old. I want him to have everything I did growing up and more. By the time he reaches High School, I want to provide a nice home for him to grow up in, like I had growing up. I want to make my Wife happy. Her dream is to have a nice home one day. A home we can call ours. She will not even talk about it though.

9-11 was the same way for me. I was living in Tallahassee, Florida, making more money than I had ever made in my life. I was moving students around in trucks and trailers. At the end of a 12 hour day, after paying my labor, gas, rental truck fees.. I would STILL have $300 to $500 left un my pockets! Every single day.

I would buy the best food I craved, I was a drunkard back then also, so I would run up huge tabs, and cochise was my drug of choice I rolled like this for years.

But then I began to slip. I let somebody way to close to me. His wife and he made promises to help me get legal ect. And the next thing I knew I was thrown out of my own business, with $1 in my pocket.

I crashed and burned very quickly. I had no savings. I lived way out in the woods on 10 acres, in a small cabin. Within 2 days my power was off. The next day no water. And the 3rd day, somehow I caught poison Ivy so bad I could not even open my eyes.

I layed in my cabin, in 120 degree heat, for days. I was dying. The drugs that kept me going at a high level for years, were gone. Nobody cared about me anymore. I knew they really didn’t care about me. Thing is, I really didn’t care about them either. A wasted life.

I closed my eyes. I could feel my blood boiling. I felt terrible, my heart racing. Holy crap I thought. I am gonna die right here and now!

I have no idea how much time passed. I had one neighbor that lived up the road. I never asked Carol or Montey for help, not because I was proud. Rather I was very embarrassed. Carol had a wet rag, water, and food in a Tupperware container. She saved my life. Carol also took me straight to the ER. She paid for a novacaine shot, and the next morning I was still Allive.

I began working with Stacey, my best friend. He lived in town. This is only a couple days after Carol saved my life. I was about to head into town when Stacey called, and was saying something about a plane hitting a building in New York. Then he called again talking about a second plane hitting a second building.

Right then, at that exact moment, I realized that this was going to be my chance. Instead of following my heart and my dreams, I was chasing fast women, faster cochise, and just about every other drug you can imagine.

Just a couple days after that realization, I was at the local recruiting office, making an old dream of mine, grow a new pair of legs.It was on. I was ready to do absolutely anything for my Country, including death. Little did I know how close Mr Death would come to me. He took young men all around me. I survived.

On my free time I taught myself all about credit.For the first time in my life I was saving money. There are not to many places to spend money in the dessert. You know.

My platoon was 97% black. I was a redneck that lived in the woods like a hermit for many years. I am going to go ahead and say it. I was treated like dog shit for the first few months of what turned out to be a 16 month deployment. It was rough. We were constantly going on missions, or pulling guard duty. We were living at the Ministry of Oil. It was nothing but a big oven. At night I would lay in my Cot and just sweat purversly.

We were running into trouble every time we had a mission outside the wire. I kept having close call after close call. Every time a mission would head outside the wire, somebody from our platoon would woosy out of the mission, and more often than not My name was called to be the replacement.By the end of that 16 month long tour, I had not only achieved my lifelong dream to serve our Country, I had taught myself all about credit and things like that my Father had never taught me.

I learned something else about myself during that long ass deployment. When I am down, and absolutely nobody has one bit of respect or belief in me, that is when you had better put ALL of your chips down, right in my corner. It takes a lot to get me to fight, but once pushed to that certain point, it is game on! There is no getting tired, no quitting, I will succeed and there is no doubt in my mind. Once pushed to a certain point, I know I will win. And this time is no different.

Yesterday one of my credit cards more than doubled its value. And once one card does this, more will follow. My Wife and Son said they want to go camping. Within a couple weeks I had purchased everything we need to go camping.

To buy a house through the VA, you need a 620 minimum score. One of my scores is sitting at 650!

A few weeks ago I found out my Mother has cancer all throughout her body. I want her to see ne doing good for a change. Please God help us all.